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What is Self-Confidence

Though you can deliver these as you like, it’s designed to be one segment per class for four weeks. That’s presuming you have two classes a week. Either way, this is great material from a true expert.  Watch the video and click on the title bar to open the lesson.

Our instructor for this course is Joe Navarro.

Mr. Navarro, is a former FBI agent and supervisor. He specializes in the area of nonverbal communication and body language, and has authored numerous books, including What Every Body Is Saying, Dangerous Personalities, Louder Than Words, Three Minutes to Doomsday, and The Dictionary of Body Language.

His website.

1. What is confidence?

Ask the students to watch you and tell you the difference between two examples.

1. Walk into the class without making eye contact, greeting anyone keeping your arms and hands quietly to your sides.

2. Walk in and make eye contact, greet one or two students by name, complimenting them with something like “looking good there..” Wave greetings.

Ask the class what the difference was. Which version would be the most helpful in life? Which version would they like to be?

Touch on topics in this video.

2. Modeling Confidence

Where do we get that confident voice? Where do we get those confident gestures?

Most people are not born confident, they develop the skills of confidence. This is called socialization.

One of the all-time great movie actors was Cary Grant. He was the epitome of a suave, smooth confidence. It was not unusual for people to say, “…like Cary Grant” as a compliment.

The truth is Cary Grant was born into poverty with an abusive dad and a mom he thought was dead, but actually committed to an insane asylum.

His real name was, “Archibald Leach.” As he said in his biography, he became Cary Grant by adopting all the behaviors that I saw from high status individuals.

We like this leader because of this or that trait. So try to model their behaviors.

Warning! Do not confuse brash, rude, threatening behavior as confidence. That is the opposite of confidence because it comes from fear not confidence.

3. What are confident behaviors?

Ask the students to watch you and tell you the difference between two examples.

1. Walk into the class without making eye contact, greeting anyone keeping your arms and hands quietly to your sides.

2. Walk in and make eye contact, greet one or two students by name, complimenting them with something like “looking good there..” Wave greetings.

Ask the class what the difference was. Which version would be the most helpful in life? Which version would they like to be?

Touch on topics in this video.

4. What is Confident Intonation

Let’s do this exercise. I want you to say “no.” Just go ahead, and say it out loud. All right, now let’s do it right.

Say it as I say it. “No, no, no.”

Do you hear the difference between the way you said it and this way? Did you notice that your voice kept getting deeper?

But did you also see that the fingers became wider and wider? The more confident you became, the wider your fingers were spreading.

There’s a big difference between saying, “No, stop,” and going, “No, stop.” This potentiates the message.

But to get to this, we have to practice it. So let’s do it again. “No.”

5. Avoid Uptalk

One of my pet peeves is what we hear every day with what’s called uptalk. Uptalk is where someone says something and then they end making it sound like a question mark.

Up-talk is almost as bad as saying, “like” every other sentence. The word “like” is a comparison word. His round kick was “like” a baseball bat.”

Compare that to: “Like. His round kick was like a baseball bat.”

There is much research on this. “Like” and up-talking weakens your delivery. It sounds flighty.

So it’s important to be aware of your speech patterns.

 

6. Control Your Cadence

The cadence or speed in our speech is extremely powerful for a couple of reasons. One, we know that when people machine gun a statement, when they talk very fast, we are less likely to listen to them over a long period of time.

But when we talk in cadence, we are held still listening to what will come next. I’ll give you an example from that great speech Martin Luther King gave. He paused on purpose to let the words,”I have a dream” have their full effect.

“I have a dream.” And then he pauses. ‘That one day.’

And then he goes on. And Churchill used the same thing. Churchill’s notes literally would create spaces for how long he would pause.

These pauses make people listen. If you want people to listen to you, use cadence to get their attention, hold their attention, but then look forward to what that next set of words will be.

It lets them know at a subconscious level, this is the person in charge. We know that they’re in charge because they have temporal control over this. They’re not in a hurry.

7. The Importance of Public Speaking

Studies show that 75% of people fear public speaking more than death. 75%! That means that at a funeral, 75% of the people there would rather be in the coffin than give the eulogy. 

Odds are, you’re afraid of public speaking. That’s also why you must master it because that will move you from the 75% who fear it to the 25% of confident people that don’t.

With practice, you’re going to get better and better and better. That’s why so many of our drills are speaking oriented.

8. People are Not Born Confident

Let’s face it, people are not born confident. They’re just not.

We can become confident with the assistance of our parents who encourage us.

We can become confident through our own achievements.

We can become confident by going beyond our boundaries. B

Confidence is something that we can grow, can nurture. I have seen people in wheelchairs that are supremely confident.

I have seen elderly people in their 90s who are very confident.

I’ve seen children who are holding a violin with such confidence. If you want to be confident, know your material, know the information, hone that skill, work at it, have that mastery of things and of self and that’s how you will come across as confident, no matter what your station in life is.

Empower Kickboxing™ Martial Arts Curriculum