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gentle art of Verbal Defense-4-2

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THESE KEy moments can be integrated into quick lessons on Verbal Defense

1. Text–Recognizing Verbal Attack Patterns

The first step is recognizing those pesky verbal attacks. These attacks generally fall into two parts:

  1. The Bait: Meant to provoke an immediate and emotional response.
  2. The Presupposition: Subtle assumptions about who you are and what you know.

3. Text-Understanding Bait and Presuppositions

The first step is recognizing those pesky verbal attacks. These attacks generally fall into two parts:

When we say bait and when we say presuppositions, this part that you see highlighted in red, Waste time asking questions. That is the bait part of this attack. It is designed to make your fight or flight part in your brain say, oh, they think that I’m wasting time and panic and start a fight with you. There are two presuppositions in here. This is the first one, really cared about this project. It’s assuming that, for one, the person who’s asking the question about the project. And unfortunately enough, it assumes that if you do care about a project, you never ask questions.

  1. The Bait: Meant to provoke an immediate and emotional response.
  2. The Presupposition: Subtle assumptions about who you are and what you know.

5. Text-Ignore the Bait

So the first thing is to ignore the bait. If you can identify which part of a comment is the bait and which part is the presupposition, ignore the bait part. That’s the part that is designed to get you off guard and to get you off your center and start an emotional response fight. It’s impossible to be attacked and not want to instantly attack back. That’s that dumb, dumb part of your brain back there that’s like, it’s going to kill me. I should fight it. So ignore the bait part. Part as best you.

7. Text-Handling Unusual Conversations

The important and difficult part about that is that if I say to you, Hey, my toaster started talking to me, and it scares me. Your initial reaction is to say, Well, that’s crazy. Toasters don’t talk.

But really, if you want to have open and honest communication with people on the Internet, people in your life, what you should really be compelled to say is, Man, that would really be stressful. What is the toaster saying to you? Right? That is an extreme example. I that if someone actually has a talking toaster, there are other things you should do.

 

2. Text–Recognizing Verbal Attack Patterns

The first part of it is the bait. That is the part that elicits an immediate and often visceral emotional reaction from the person who is being attacked.

The second part is the presupposition. It’s one or more, often more, thinly veiled assumptions about the person that is being attacked, who they are, what they’re doing, and what they know.

4. Text–Recognize Verbal Attacks

These are the four basic principles that you should use any time that you’re responding to a verbal attack from someone.

First is to know that you’re under attack. This is hard, as I mentioned, because so often we don’t have the text stress.

No one’s bolding and highlighting things in red on the Internet to let you know which one is the bad part and which one is the good part.

But more importantly, you have to know the type of attack you’re facing.

 

6. Text–Regretful Anger Responses

Assume that no harm is meant.

I had across my monitor, taped just a little quote that said, any response that you make angry is the best response that you will ever regret. Because there’s that moment where you’re like, well, I’m going to show you and I’m going to send you this really mean email, and you’re going to know how smart I am because I mean. We can all take a moment and appreciate how crazy that sounds, right? And I felt that way. I was like, you’re going to understand.

Smart I am because I’m faster at this fight than you are.

 

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