Stump Speeches

100% OF THE SHOTS

Roger Crawford, a successful motivational speaker and tennis player—although he has only three fingers and an amputated leg—tells people, “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” Not even the greatest martial artists in the world ever score 100% of the techniques they throw. But they still keep throwing them, even when they know they can’t be perfect. Are you missing some shots in life simply because you aren’t taking them? Get those goals written down today, and start taking some shots you haven’t been taking.

ARE YOU SUPPORTIVE at work?

If you see someone “snowed” under, do you offer to help them or would you rather the boss think they can’t handle their job so you’ll look better? Are you the person, when asked to help someone else who answers, “That’s not my job.”

When you know the company is on a tight schedule and needs you to work overtime, do you work without being asked or expect overtime? You keep going until the job is done because you know it is vital to get the work out on time.

As a Black Belt, you never hesitate to offer help and when someone asks you to help, you do it willing. You support your boss in every way because you know that, if the company succeeds, so will you when you give your all.

What Have I Learned Today?

Each night before you go to bed, ask yourself, “What have I learned today?” Make a conscious effort to monitor your level of learning.

You’ll be amazed at the amount of new material you can pick up simply by reading one chapter in a non-fiction book, watching a documentary, or browsing through an informative website.

Make it a point to spend an extra fifteen minutes each day in order to learn something new. Before shutting the light out ask yourself, “What have I learned today?”

How do you treat other people AT SCHOOL?

One of the dynamics that makes school uncomfortable is how the students treat each other. Most are taught to respect the teacher, but how are they being prepared to treat the other students?

The words I want you to think of are “kind and compassionate.”

Being kind simply means being nice to everyone and treating them like you would like to be treated.

Compassionate means to be sensitive in showing concern or sympathy for others, especially students who get teased and bullied for being different.

You don’t have to fight their fights for them but it is compassionate to let them know you’re their friend.

ARE YOU KNOWN AS A WHINER or a WINNER?

When you bump into someone and they ask how you are do you say, “Okay” or “I’m fine.” with no inflections in your voice? If this is your usual response, you are a “whiner”. Or do you say, “Great”, “Super”, “Marvelous!” with inflections in your voice that reinforces what you are saying? These are the words, actions and tone of voice of “winners”.

Whiners say, “I’m too (fat or stupid, short, in experienced, afraid, disorganized, weak, etc) to do something.” Winners never believe they have any kind of handicap that will keep them from accomplishments.

With the Black Belt Attitude, you use positive words that build your mental fitness and public image.

ARE YOU Missing Something?

Are you a person who never really sees things and the people around you? Do you go about your daily life accepting everything as it is and never saying “Why is it that way?” There is an old saying that people who never read are no better off than those who cannot. The same thing can be said about seeing. You can have excellent vision but do you really see the world around you?

Losers never look beyond their noses. They don’t enjoy the beauty around them. They don’t recognize the opportunities available to them. As a Black Belt, you look at everything as though you were seeing it for the first time and you ask “Why is it that way?”. If you think it can be changed for the better, you find a way to change it. You are a creative thinker and are always looking for better ways of doing things.

The Smartest Guy in the Room

Are you a person who has to always be right? Do you close your ears to your children’s ideas because they conflict with yours? Do you fail to listen to your employees who may have better ideas than you do about how to increase your business? At school, do you bore your friends by constantly trying to impress them with your vast knowledge?

If you are a parent with Black Belt Attitude, you listen to your children without making judgements because you want them to share their thoughts with you. As an open, supportive parent, you will be the one your child seeks out for advice. As an employer with the Black Belt Attitude, your employees feel free to make suggestions. In fact, you ask them to write down any suggestions they may have and you reward them for the good ones. They feel they are a part of your team working together. As a result, their production levels are high and you never have a retention problem. If you are a student with the Black Belt Attitude, you listen to your classmates and friends and learn from them.

ARE YOU Missing Something?

ALWAYS STRIVE for the best

Black Belt Excellence is built on the premise that anything less than a commitment to excellence is an acceptance of mediocrity. Unless you make the conscious commitment to become excellent at what you do, you are unconsciously accepting that you are only going become mediocre. Great achievement in life only comes when you make the decision to become outstanding at what you do.

Every excellent performance builds your self-esteem and reinforces your self confidence. That carries over into all areas of your life. If you only do things in an average way you don’t get anything. You don’t get the charge. Always strive for perfection.

Always Be Reading Something

Did you realize that about 60% of all Americans never read even a single book last year? That’s sad! Apparently we don’t realize the importance of reading.

It’s a proven fact that successful people read. They constantly feed their hunger for new information through the use of books. Self education is key. And one of the best ways to expand your knowledge foundation is to read.

Find a non-fiction book that interests you either at the library or the bookstore, and bring it home with you. Each day, reserve about fifteen to thirty minutes of quiet time and read it. The idea is to always be reading something.

ACCEPT YOUR BODY

When we are born, we all are given a body. Whether we like our bodies or not, we have to live with them the rest of our lives.

If we want everyone else to accept us the way we look, we must learn to accept ourselves. Think of the people you have known who, when you first met them, you thought were beautiful.

After you got to know them, they were no longer beautiful, their personality reveled that they were nasty inside. They were beautiful on the outside, but ugly on the inside.

The opposite works as well. People we first thought “ugly”, once we got to know them, they became beautiful through our eyes because their inner self was beautiful. The way we feel about ourselves inside is what everyone else will see on the outside. Whether tall, short, beautiful or plain looking, a Black Belt knows it is not what shows on the outside of a person but what is on the inside.

FOCUS ON THE POSITIVE

Winners refuse to say, “I failed”. Winners may not succeed every time, but they know they didn’t fail. A winner will find a new way to do it. A winner replaces “I can’t”, “I don’t, I won’t” with “I haven’t done it up to this point but it is a challenge that I accept.” Thus, the winner opens to door to endless possibilities of future successes. With the Black Belt Attitude, you look at every thing as a challenge and never say, “It can’t be done.”

Throughout history, people like the Wright Brothers, Edison, and Ford were told “It can’t be done.” but they did it! As a Black Belt, you meet a challenge head on with the attitude of “I’m only as good as I think I am! Here’s my chance to shine!”

Quoting from the June, 1998 keynote speech by John Graden, publisher of Martial Arts Professional Magazine, with the Black Belt Attitude, you will never carry the baggage of “I should of” and look back with regret at what you “could of” done. As the old song goes, “You’ve got to accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative and don’t mess Mr. In-between”.

Aim Your Arrow At the Moon

A wise man once said, “Aim your arrow at the moon and you may hit an eagle. But if you aim your arrow at an eagle, then you may only hit a rock.”

When setting goals make sure that you do not underestimate yourself. In fact, set your goals a little higher than you initially intended them to be. In other words, challenge yourself to go the extra distance. It’s a proven fact that you can usually always do a little better than you think you can. As the old saying implies, when you set your goals high you’ll still get what you wanted even if you happen to fall a little short of the target.

A HIGH IQ DOESN’T MEAN BEING SMART

Often we confuse high IQ with being smart. You can have a very high IQ yet still not be very smart. As martial artists we have all set a goal of earning a black belt. So when it comes time to practice and we decide to skip practice, we are not making a smart decision based upon our goal. A smart person is a person who make choices and takes actions in line with their goals in life. They take responsibility for achieving their goals. Someone who is not smart makes poor choice and takes actions that prevent them from reaching their goal. You are in class today, so you can count yourself as being pretty smart.

The danger of ABSOLUTES

Are you a person who, if you don’t have anything about which to worry, you make something up? Do you always think the worst of every situation? If you failed to win a tournament, do you say to yourself, “I failed. Therefore, I am a failure.” and from then on, you feel you are a complete failure? With the Black Belt Attitude, you realize there are no absolutes in life. No one is absolutely ugly or absolutely beautiful. No one is totally stupid or totally brilliant and no one is an absolute failure. Every person has their victories and defeats. A person who sees life as an absolute will always be in a sense of depression because they can never measure up to their own expectations. As a Black Belt, you don’t see the world as black and white; you see it as gray. You will never worry about what may happen tomorrow because your focus is on what is happening today. You never waste your time and energy on worrying about what may never happen.

30 MINUTES A DAY

Its interesting in the last decade or so the emphasis that has been placed on exercising 20 – 30 minutes each day in order to be fit. However, as martial artists we recognize that healthy works from the inside out. One of the most powerful rules you can live by is to spend 30 minutes a day reading something of substance, something of value, something that was nourishing, something that helped you grow intellectually and spiritually. In many ways this is as important as exercise, but in today’s WEB world it’s overlooked. Jim Rohn, an expert in the field of personal achievement said reading 30 minutes a day was more important than eating. “Miss a meal” he said, “but don’t miss your reading.”

95% WORKS

One of the most important attitudes of the black belt is to focus on what works.

The amazing thing is that about 95% of everything that we do every day works! And on many days, 100% of what we do works! Still some people tend to spend a lot of time focusing on the five percent that didn’t work, and they miss the satisfaction of feeling the many successes they have. A really sad fact is that too many people don’t take the time to really think about everything they do every day that actually works. What did you do yesterday that worked? Let’s focus on that and simply make adjustments in the areas that didn’t work as well so we’ll get it next time.

Actions Speak Louder Than Words

Action is the root of accomplishment. That’s why successful people tend not to procrastinate and are rarely ever lazy. They act on things as quickly as possible and ensure immediate results.

Unfortunately, many people know what they should do but opt not to do it. In other words, they fail to take action and merely talk about doing something. How many times has someone told you, “I’m gonna….” and then they never do it? The fact is that actions speak louder than words.

For example, a lot of you have told me that you are going to earn your black belt. What actions will you need to take in order to make that happen?

DO YOUR EYES JUDGE?

This is a true story. Two car salesmen were on duty in the showroom. The salesman who had been in the business for 25 years was the next one up for anyone walking in the door. The young salesman noticed a person looking at the new most expensive car in the showroom. The person was very poorly dressed and looked like she was a street person. The young salesman said to the elder salesman, “There is a lady looking at the cars. It is your turn.” The elder salesman laughed and said, “You take her. I’m not wasting my time on a window shopper, much less one that looks like a street person! ”

The young salesman walked over to the lady and said, “May I help you?” She asked how much the car cost. The young salesman said, “This is the most expensive car this company makes.” The woman said, “So, young man, how much is it?” He told her and she said, “I think I’ll take it.” She paid for the car with a certified check and the next day picked it up.

The young salesman learned a valuable lesson that day, as did the elder salesman. With the Black Belt Attitude, you never assume anything about a person by the way he or she looks on the outside. You give everyone a chance to prove themselves.

“YEAH-BUTS” LIVE IN THE FOREST

Is there someone around you who always responds to your ideas with “yeah, but.” We call those negative people; “yeah-buts” and “yeah-buts” live in the forest.

Sometimes people won’t even bother to suggest something because a “yeah-but” is just going to shoot it down. They can create a current of negativity that is hard to overcome. If you start making an effort to surround yourself with positive people, you will find the attitudes of positive people to be very contagious. Start today to surround yourself with positive people and you’ll start to soar with the eagles high above the “yeah-buts” in the forest.

DO YOUR ACCOMPLISHMENTS MAKE YOU SPECIAL?

Is everyone who has achieved worthy? Adolf Hitler achieved world fame. Do you think he was worthy? He may have thought he was the greatest leader ever to be born but what do you think? You may know people who have achieved a lot in life, wealth, fame, and prestige. In your mind, do you think they are worthwhile? Are they, because of their achievements, snobs, conceited, egotistical? Do you really like them because of their achievements or do you dislike them because of their attitudes? Do you have a friend who has never achieved anything great but is a good friend, loyal, honest and true blue. Is this not what makes a person worthy in your eyes? Though you may not have fulfilled your achievements, as a Black Belt, you know you are still a worthy person because of the way you feel about yourself and how you treat others.

DO YOU INSTILL FEAR?

Are you a parent whose children are afraid of you and are afraid to talk to you openly? Are you an employer whose staff trembles when they see you come into the office? Are you a bully at school?

If you see yourself as any of the above, what do you feel you accomplish by having everyone around you afraid of you? Do you honestly believe you have better children? Do you think you will get more production from your employees?

Are you foolish enough to think your classmates respect and look up to you because you can bully people?

If you have the Black Belt Attitude, you know that if you bring out fear instead of respect in anyone, you are going to alienate them. Children leave home and never look back; employees seek better working conditions; classmates detest and avoid bullies. A Black Belt is kind and considerate to all people and they gain other’s respect.

DO YOU HAVE TWO PERSONALITIES?

Are you a person who shows one face to the outside world and another to your loved ones? Does the outside world see you as a considerate and kind person and your loved ones see you as a tyrant?

A woman, who lived with her daughter and her family for 15 years before passing away, was thought to be the nicest, sweetest person outside of the home. Everyone spoke so highly of her. In her daughter’s home, she made every day a living hell. She could have had the easiest life and enjoyed her grandchildren but instead she found fault with everyone in the house. She could never see where she was wrong and how much she was missing. She only saw that no one in the household would bend to her thinking.

With the Black Belt Attitude, you are kind and considerate with everyone. You take joy in being with your loved ones and know they are the most important people in your life and you would do nothing to alienate them.

DO YOU HAVE REASON TO BE ANGRY?

Do you get angry because someone accidentally does something to you even if it ends up hurting you? Why would you become angry over an accident? You are in a traffic jam. You feel what is now known as road rage. Do you think you are the only one being held up in traffic? Are you looking for reasons to let off steam? As a Black Belt, you will always accept the fact that, if someone kicks or knocks you over, it was not usually done intentionally. You understand that there are times when you will be inconvenienced, like in the example of road rage, and no one is really at fault. With the Black Belt Attitude, you recognize the difference in intentional and unintentional acts by others.

DISAPPOINTMENT

Why do family feuds happen? Sometimes it is because one family member feels that another family member has done something that is disappointing.

Often the person has no idea what they have done or why their family member no longer communicates with them. They don’t go to that person and say, “Hey! What did I do to you?” which would open the door to communication. A Black Belt knows that the longer you go cutting someone out of your life, the worse it will get. There comes a point where the damage is almost beyond repair. A Black Belt would never let it get to the point of no return.

Critical success factors

Critical success factors (CSF’s) are the things that you absolutely, positively must become good at before you can reach top performance. However, you must know precisely what these CSF’s are before you can begin improving them. For that reason, identifying them should become a major priority. Usually, you can find about five to seven of them associated with each of your goals.

CSF’s can be strengths, weaknesses and vulnerabilities. As you know, your strengths will help you reach your goals quickly. But your flaws and imperfections will always hold you back. In fact, your weakest important skill will always set the height of your success in any area of accomplishment.

CRAWL BEFORE YOU WALK

You have the idea that you can solve all of your problems and reach your goals in no time flat. When you come up against roadblocks, you become frustrated and angry. But with the Black Belt Attitude, you have learned that you must crawl before you walk. You have learned to set your goals and take them one step at the time. You have learned that you may trip over a step and fall back a few but that doesn’t mean you are not going to ever reach your goals. It means you are in a learning experience. You know that reaching your goals is an every day challenge like climbing up a steep mountain.

CONTROL CENTER

One of the constant reminders that Norman Cousins gave to his medical students at UCLA was this: “The control center of your life is your attitude.” That is one of the best definitions of the importance of developing a black belt attitude which is an attitude of positive self expectations. Negative attitudes lead to illness, feelings of defeat and downhill thinking. Positive attitudes lead to hope, love, caring, fun and endorphin flow from the adrenaline system. And you control all of it with your attitude. Take a few minutes today and think about how a little attitude adjustment for you might start those endorphins flowing again! It’ll feel great!

BLACK BELT LISTENING

“A person with a black belt attitude listens, a person with a white belt attitude just waits until it’s his turn to talk.” It’s often true that listening is the most neglected skill of communication. Many people hear the words, but don’t get the message, simply because they are just waiting for their turn to talk. Listening takes concentration and an interest in what the other person is saying and what they really mean. How often do you catch yourself waiting until it’s your turn to talk? How can you improve your listening skills?

ARE YOU USING ANGER TO MANIPULATE OTHERS?

People have a will of their own and when you demand they do something they are not willing to do, it can back fire and you are left with only rage and a burning anger.

Anger wastes a lot of energy. Anger and rage never produce positive results. Anger and rage only alienates those around you. That is because other people don’t like to be manipulated or controlled any more than you do. As a Black Belt, you understand that you can use your energy in positive directions rather than in rage and anger. You know your positive Black Belt Attitude keeps you in control of your temper at all times.

CHANGES

A lot of changes have taken place in the last 100 years. At the last turn of the century, there were no radios, no stereos, no televisions, no airplanes, no computers, no washers, dryers, or dishwashers. It seems a million other things were yet to be invented and were from 1900 to 2000. What kind of creative minds changed our world, as we know it today? Were they all born with brilliant minds? The answer is “no”. So, if they weren’t born brilliant, how did they invent these amazing devices? Could it be that they had the Black Belt Attitude before that, too, was created? We know with the Black Belt Attitude our dreams can be made into a reality. In the next century, will you finalize a dream that, if it doesn’t make the world a better place in which to live, will fulfill your goals?

Changing Your State of Mind

There are two main ways to change your state of mind. First, you can think of something that really makes you happy. Try to remember a time when you felt as though you were on top of the world. Recreate this memory as vividly as possible and you’ll soon see your mood begin to change for the better.

Secondly, you must change your physiology. Sad people are usually slumped over with poor posture. Their shoulders droop inward and their facial expressions are dull. To begin feeling better instantly stand up straight, take a deep breath and begin doing something you enjoy. After a good martial arts workout, for example, you’ll almost always feel better. This shows that by changing your physiology you can improve emotional state.

Building A Steel Trap

Your brain is capable of storing more information than some of the most sophisticated computers on Earth. Yet, we often forget something simple like a person’s name five seconds after we’re introduced? That’s a sign of weak listening skills.

It’s important to listen carefully so that new information gets stored away instead of thrown away. In other words, listen with the intent to remember. Always try to concentrate and give your undivided attention so that you really hear what the other person is saying. That will help you to retain knowledge for longer periods of time. In fact, think of your brain as being a steel trap. Once new information enters, the trap shuts, and nothing can escape.

Body Language

Body language can tell a lot about you. Usually, it’s a reflection of how you feel about yourself. The way you stand, your arm positioning, whether or not you make eye contact and your posture all weigh in. For example, looking at the ground when you walk is a sign of low confidence. However, if you walk tall with your eyes straight ahead you’ll appear to be much more confident and proud.

Body language can also determine whether or not a person gets victimized. If you appear to be confident and in control, chances are that an attacker will pass you by and look for a weaker person. So work on improving the signals your body is sending out. It will make a big difference in the “external you.”

BLACK BELT EXCELLENCE

True success in life only begins when you make the commitment to become excellent at what you do. We call it the commitment to Black Belt Excellence. Without that commitment you’ll always perform at low levels and never achieve your full potential. There are no rewards in this society for mediocre or average performance.

Great achievement in life only comes when you become outstanding at what you do. Anything less than a commitment to excellence is an acceptance of average or below average performance. Unless you make the conscious commitment to become excellent at what you do, what you are doing is unconsciously accepting that you are only going to become mediocre.

Our goal as martial artists is to not just become black belts in martial arts but to become academic black belts, black belt employees or corporate black belts.

BLACK BELT DIA PHORON

Dia Phoron is the Greek phrase for excellence. It simply means “Follow through.” Lots of people have great ideas and little follow through.The world is full of great starters. These are people who start projects, start diets, start martial arts lessons. The key is to follow through, Dia Phoron . It’s the last 10 – 15% of a project that the 95% of people without follow through drop and leave the field wide open to those of the discipline to stay with it to the end.

Do you want to reach excellence in your life? Then try a little Black Belt Dia Phoron.

CHOOSE TODAY!

You can wake up today and choose to be filled with excitement over all the great things you are going to accomplishment before the day ends. Or, you can choose to be dejected because you have so much to do so you don’t do anything at all. As a Black Belt you jump out of bed each morning with great enthusiasm. You know it is your job to choose just what kind of day you are going to have. As a Black Belt, you have goals and you know you cannot achieve those goals unless you fulfill your responsibilities each and every day. As a Black Belt, you are happy that you have the ability to fulfill your goals and make new ones. As a Black Belt, you know that how you choose to shape each day will shape your future.

BLACK BELT ATTITUDE CONTROLS RAGE

Anyone with the Black Belt Attitude knows that it is possible to control rage because a Black Belt replaces negative thoughts with positive thoughts. A Black Belt works hard to keep negative thoughts from entering the mind so is not inclined to ever go into a rage over anything. A Black Belt has patience, empathy, consideration and love for others. A Black Belt does not jump to negative conclusions. A Black Belt will think the best until proven wrong and, by always thinking the best, will not feel anger quickly. A Black Belt is proud of the fact that he/she is always in control of emotions and tempers.

BLACK BELT ATTITUDE

The black belt attitude is an attitude of high personal and professional standards or what we call black belt excellence. Black belt is a metaphor for being the very best that you can be in any given situation. In school, how would a black belt sit and listen to the teacher? How would a black belt clean their room? Would a black belt be respectful and courteous? Do you want to be known as someone who has a black belt attitude or a green belt attitude? The best thing is that you don’t have to have a black belt to have a black belt attitude.

BELIEVE IN YOURSELF

If you don’t believe in yourself, no one else will believe in you. Become a “I can do it!” person. Once you have a dream, start planning how to fulfill that dream. Do not let others discourage you because, if you let them, they will. Part of your plan may be to start researching or you may want to find a mentor who can help you. If it will take money, start putting aside a specific amount each week in an account that will draw interest. Successful people know you must “Pay yourself first”. Whether it is $5.00 or $500.00, deposit it in a separate interest bearing account and don’t touch it until you need it to help fulfill your dream. With the Black Belt Attitude, you believe that miracles do happen and dreams do come true because you can make them happen. And you make them happen because you believe in yourself!

BEN THE BLACK BELT

Benjamin Franklin would have made a great black belt teacher. He once said, “I never knew a person who was good at making excuses, who was good at anything else.” He couldn’t have said it more perfectly regarding people who just don’t follow through. “I’m too busy;” “I didn’t know about it;” “I can’t do it.” Those are just a few on the long list of excuses conjured up by people who often don’t want to admit they don’t have the courage, strengths or skills to do it. You don’t need any excuses for trying. Black Belts always give it a try!

BELIEVE IN MIRACLES

Know that every day is a new beginning. Believe that miracles do happen and your dreams really can come true.

If you believe strong enough, there is no limit to what wonderful things can happen in your life. You can make your dreams come true by believing in yourself and knowing in your heart that you can accomplish anything you set your mind to. Those with the Black Belt Attitude make dreams come true because they constantly work toward their goals. Black Belts are capable of making miracles happen because they know that miracles don’t come from “out of nowhere”. Sometimes, when a dream comes true, you may feel that it is a miracle but it is really from all the things you did to make that dream come true.

HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE A TIME TRAVELER?

Wouldn’t it be great to be able travel back in time to the days of Ben Franklin? Can you imagine walking through the streets in the 1700’s facing life the way he did? Let’s go one step further, imagine actually becoming Ben Franklin or at least experiencing his life through his eyes, ears and memories. Here is a man who invented street lights, the library and discovered electricity! Do you think he may have some interesting thoughts? Of course and you can go back in time with him. How, read his life story in the Autobiography of Benjiman Franklin. when you read books by men like Ben Franklin, you start to think like him. You are in the streets of Philadelphia in the 1700’s and you start learn the attitudes of of greatness. Their attitudes become your attitudes and you carry those attitudes long after you’ve turned the final page.

What adventure can you take with a hero from the past?

Be An Executive of the Martial Arts

Executives are razor sharp individuals who take a tremendous amount of pride in themselves. They’re extremely professional, their hygiene is impeccable and they dress as if they own the company.

From now on, consider yourself to be an executive of the martial arts. That means that everything about you is top-notch. That includes all of your techniques, your level of effort, the amount of respect you have for your classmates and even the appearance of your uniform.

Try imagining that you’re being payed over $100,000 dollars a year to work out at this school. How well rounded would you become in order to keep your job? What would your overall performance be like then?

BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF

You are unhappy with your life and you know you must make some changes. Are you the type of person who can take a good look at yourself with an honest eye and recognize the choices you must make? Can you honestly look at the options you have to change your life and change it? If you can, then you know you have to take a long look at what direction you are going to go and start making changes today.

You have to find something that will motivate you to make those changes. What would motivate you? More money? Better working conditions? Better grades in school? Maybe you are overweight and you realize that the exercise you do in Martial Arts is not enough to take off that weight so you must commit to start eating properly. As a Black Belt you can be honest in evaluating your life and you are self-motivated.

BECOME A DAILY THINKER

You have projects to do, goals to reach plus your every day routine. You say to yourself, “I don’t have time to waste just thinking. If I don’t get started, I’ll never get anything done!”

If you will learn to set aside one hour each day just to think, you will find you will come up with new ideas that could make your life so much easier. Don’t wait for the weekend to have your “Think Time”, do it seven days a week. Go where you are alone and it is quiet. Some people like to walk on the beach or sit alone in a park. Some set up a place in their home that is their own special “Think Tank”. A place under a tree in the backyard is great! Black Belt’s know the value of “Think Time.”

The Difference between solitude and seclusion

There is a huge difference in becoming a hermit, feeling lonely and being alone. Becoming a hermit and becoming anti-social is a sign of low self-esteem. Hermits may tell you they stay away from others because they are fed-up with the human race but, underneath, they usually don’t feel they are worthy of friendship and are afraid of being rejected so they reject others before others can reject them. Being lonely and being alone are worlds apart in definition. To be lonely is to feel unworthy of anyone wanting to be with you and is filled with self-pity.

With the Black Belt Attitude, you know being alone gives you the opportunity to explore things you could not if you were with someone. A person who enjoys being alone likes to read, paint, do crafts, practice forms, research on computer or millions of other things that are not practical to do when with someone. A Black Belt never feels lonely when alone but is invigorated with the chance to explore his/her talents.

Let Perfection Go

The barrier to progress is perfection.

There is a big difference between someone who calls himself a perfectionist and what may actually be an excuse to quit. Some people, as soon as they realize that it will take work to get good at martial arts, will quit. Their excuse is, “I’m a perfectionist. If I can’t do it right, I don’t want to do it.” The translation is, “I’m lazy and don’t want to even try.”

A real perfectionist stays with a project and does the best job possible. A quitter bails out as soon as the going gets rough.

One bite at a time

Have you ever had a project so big, you felt you never could complete it so why even start? So you kept putting it off until tomorrow? Tomorrow came and went and you put it off for another day. You may sit and think about it for ten minutes or so and then give up.

With the Black Belt Attitude you understand that, if you took that ten minutes to dig in and start on the project, you would eventually get it done.

Just take one bite at a time.

Just like money where pennies add up to dollars, in time, minutes add up to hours. By planning just ten minutes a day on any project, you will find that you seldom stop after ten minutes because you get so involved, you continue to dig into it and soon it is completed.

Opportunity Knocks if you're looking for it

We should look at everything that happens to us as an opportunity. Even things we don’t want to happen could become challenges and make us take another direction, which could improve our lives. If we don’t take hold of each and every challenge, we will go through our lives missing boat after boat. We will look back and feel regret that we didn’t seize the moment when our ship came in. Remember that everyone is in the same boat. The difference is what we do when we get on board. Some will plan ahead and some will not. Remember, when Noah built the boat, it wasn’t raining. That was really planning ahead!

Be Proactive

At home or in the office, if you see something that needs to be done, do you go ahead and do it even if it is someone else’s job? If you see the trash is running over, do you empty it or do you leave it for someone else? At home or in the office, if you see dirty cups in the sink, do you wash them and put them away or leave it for someone else? If you see a co-worker is snowed under and you are finished with your project, do you offer to help your co-worker? You know the difference of someone taking advantage of you and don’t allow that but, with the Black Belt Attitude, you do whatever you see that needs to be done. You never wait to be asked because you believe that every day tasks, at home and or in the workplace, are a team effort and you are a team player.

Changing Your State of Mind

DOUBLE POSITIVE

Remembering that we define a smart person as someone who uses their time wisely in relation to their goals, smart people always strive to have double positives. For instance, here at the martial arts school, your learning self defense which is a definite positive and at the same time getting in better shape and learning some important success skills. Martial arts is really a triple or quadruple positive! What are some other examples of double positives you can share?

EMOTIONS ARE A MIRROR OF YOUR INNER SELF

The things we hate or love in another person is merely a reflection of what we hate or love about ourselves. Too often when parents see the same trait in their child that he/she hates about themselves, they will be very harsh with the child for showing the same trait. With the Black Belt Attitude, you recognize that you cannot love or hate something about someone else unless you hate or love that same thing about yourself. The only way to stop hating traits in others is to change your own unlikable traits so that you end up loving yourself and, by change, you will be able to accept others as they are not as you wish they were.

How to leverage your goals

One of the best ways to make sure that you actually do reach your goals is to acquire the help of a “buddy.” Your buddy should have a similar goal that they want to accomplish as well. Together, you would monitor each other’s progress and follow up to make sure that your partner stays on track.

For example, I once heard of two dieters who tried this plan. They watched each other’s eating habits very closely and also made a little bet. The first person to deviate from the rules of the diet had to eat a can of dog food. So they left a can of Alpo out in plain sight as a constant reminder of their goal to lose weight. Needless to say, their idea worked.

positive stress

Eustress is positive stress. It’s very mild stress that is the result of something good. Often, it makes you into a better person. For example, if you knew that your black belt exam was coming up in a few months, then you’d probably be under a little bit of extra pressure. You’d begin practicing a little harder and more frequently. Black belt would constantly be on your mind. But, wouldn’t you agree that the eustress associated with earning a black belt is a positive event?

Do you have any positive stresses in your life right now? The key, however, is to not mix eustresses up with negative stresses. There’s a big difference between the two. Positive stress is something that we should welcome, while negative stress is something we should avoid.

EVERYONE SEES YOU DIFFERENTLY

No matter how many good things you do or how many bad things you do, every person you meet in life will judge you differently. If you should receive disapproval from one person, which you perceive as rejection, it does not spread like the plague. One rejection will never become an epidemic or a lifetime of rejections. As a Black Belt, you know that criticism and disapproval can erode your self-esteem only if you buy into it as being an “End All” event.

With the Black Belt Attitude, you will make mistakes, you will be criticized, you will receive disapproval but you will always understand that it is not rejection, only a learning experience.

Experiences

Every experience whether it be bad or good has value. You just have to look for it. Experiences that are difficult or painful often build character. They make you wiser. Those that are easy and pleasurable will provide happiness and memories that will be cherished forever. The point is that you should try to learn something from every experience regardless of its nature. In that sense, every experience may be considered a positive experience.

From this day forth, let your imagination run wild with the possibilities of everything you could explore and experience. Begin this immediately. Ask yourself, “What new experience can I pursue today that would expand my life? What kind of person will I become as a result?”

Fly With The Eagles

As we go through life we meet all kinds of people. Some of them are reliable, trustworthy and productive. As a result, they make better friends than others.

It’s important to associate yourself with other people who have the same kind of goals in life that you do. They will, in turn, help you to reach your goals even faster. But if you hang around with individuals who do not have similar goals, they’ll almost always try to bring you down to their level. They will always contribute to your demise as they try to make you just like them. For this reason, you must choose your friends wisely. Soar with the eagles, and never lower your standards for anyone!

Eye Contact

Making good eye contact is a “black belt” trait. It’s a primary indicator of someone’s level of confidence. Timid individuals often look at the ground during a conversation. Also, proper eye contact is a sign of honesty. That’s why liars have a hard time looking you in the eyes when they speak.

When you make eye contact with someone it implies that you’re really paying attention. The best students in any class always make eye contact with their instructor when he’s explaining a lesson. Not only is that respectful but you also learn better when your eyes aren’t roaming all around the room.

EYES THAT SEE ONLY “GREEN”

The green-eyed monster called “Jealousy” is one of the most destructive emotion a person can have. There are those who envy everything someone else has. They hate it when someone does better than they. Instead of setting goals and going forward, they stay stagnant because of their mental states caused by the green-eyed monster

There are people who are obsessively jealous. They are suspicious of every move a loved one makes. They make life miserable for the one they allegedly love and they make their own lives miserable. What they do not understand is that unfounded suspicions will drive a loved way away. Those green eyes that see everything distorted end up getting the opposite effect of what they desire.

As a Black Belt, you have trust in others and you admire others’ successes. You know that jealousy is a futile activity that can completely ruin your relationships and make you ill. Being eaten up with jealousy keeps you from giving your best at work, at school, at home, in interpersonal relationships and keeps you from reaching your goals.

FAMILY IS FOREVER

All of us have heard of families that no longer communicate with one another. They seem to have lost all feelings for a member or members of their family. Except in extreme cases where a family member has committed a crime against the person, it is hard to understand how families can be torn apart to the point of not speaking for the rest of their lives to the very people whom they grew up loving. With the Black Belt Attitude, you know that to forget and forgive is one of your greatest assets. Family is very important to you and you would never let a lack of communication keep you from your family. You would go out of your way to make things right between you.

FAMILY UNITY

At the beginning of the last century families were close and supportive. In today’s fast paced world, unfortunately, that is not always true. Today there is a tendency to be workaholics and families suffer from the lack of togetherness. With the Black Belt Attitude, we know that our first responsibility should always be to our family. We know there is a time for work and a time for family and recreation. Without time out for recreation and family, families are torn apart and we become burned out.

Going into the the new year, we must learn to manage a healthy balance of work and play. Both are important to our well being.

FOCUS ON ONE THING

Everyone comes to a point where there is so much to do that they don’t know where to begin. Some people jump from one thing to the other and get nothing accomplished except they become more frustrated. A Black Belt will make a “To Do” list, prioritize and keep to that list. He or she will focus on the #1 item until it is finished. Then, and only then, does he or he move to the second item. Unless, for some reason something comes up that necessitates moving a lower item on the list to #1. In that case, a Black Belt will make the move, focus, get it done and return to the original #1 without flinching. Black Belt’s know how to focus and not shatter their brains into fragments trying to do too many things at one time where nothing gets accomplished.

Focus On the Good

Last week we talked about being optimistic. Well, to be an optimist you must first learn to look for the good in things. In other words, try not to dwell on negativity.

It’s very easy to focus on the bad that’s constantly all around us. But that only brings you down and makes you depressed. Instead, it would be much better to focus on the good qualities in a person or situation. It doesn’t take any additional effort and it makes you feel better inside. There’s a positive side to just about everything. You’ll be an even happier person once you find it.

FORGET PERFECTION

There are people who spend so much time on getting everything just so that they never end up completing anything. They will labor over something for hours, days and even weeks until they feel it is just right. In the meantime, more is added to the workload and nothing is ever accomplished.

If you have the Black Belt Attitude, you will just dig in and do it. You won’t worry about whether or not it is perfect. You finish what needs to be done and then you go back and revise. A Black Belt knows that nine times out of ten, what they did the first time is correct and changes are minor. But because they dug in with only one thing on their mind -getting it done- they were relieved to find that it was not only finished, it was nearly perfect!

FREE YOUR MIND OF NEGATIVE THOUGHTS

Negative thoughts are time thieves. Negative thoughts can cause inertia, depression and defeatist attitude. With the Black Belt Attitude, you replace negative thoughts with optimism. You have the confidence to realize that with optimism you have the time and energy to push forward so that you can handle any situation that arises. You clear your mind of all negatives so that you have the time to concentrate on your future without fear of failure. You know your time is valuable and you know that, to take advantage of every moment, you must have a clear fearless, optimistic mind.

THE MIND THAT FUNCTIONS IN ABSOLUTES

GO THE EXTRA MILE

There has never been an Olympic participant who didn’t go that extra mile. The difference between gold, silver and bronze is like a blink of an eye as the time between is so miniscule. When you see the three standing up there getting their medals, do you feel the silver and bronze are losers? Do you realize that every participant in the Olympics is a winner or that person would not be on an Olympic team? Each person participating in the Olympics has dedicated their whole life to being where they are. You don’t have to be an Olympian to be champion but you do have to have the Black Belt Attitude and go that extra mile to show you have the right stuff to be a champion.

I’M AN OPTIMIST

The British leader Winston Churchill, during some of the toughest times of World War II, said, “I am an optimist. It does not seem too much use being anything else.” Those with an optimistic attitude are those who have some goals, who look for the good in themselves and others and who are learning from the present but looking to the future. It’s a funny thing, but the more we’re around optimistic people, the more optimistic we get. That’s why the martial arts is so powerful. We all work to help each other and keep a strong optimistic attitude. This black belt attitude of optimism can help us out of those pity parties in life.

Handle Interruptions With Grace

Be careful with people who, since they are not committed to doing a good job, try to interrupt you as well. These are people who would rather waste time then try to perform to their potential. That’s certainly their right. However, the problem arises when they come down the hallway and interrupt your day. Now they are wasting your time and pulling your focus away from what’s important to you. Don’t let them do it. Let them know, in a polite manner, that you are really busy. If it’s really important, you can set discuss it at a different time. In almost every case, the issue will be dropped or forgotten by the interrupter. In time, they will realize they need to find someone else to interrupt and leave you alone.

HASTE MAKES WASTE

If you make goals and get frustrated because it is taking too long to achieve them, you may just give up because you are too impatient. As a Black Belt, you learn that all things worth while in life are well worth waiting and working for. You know that Rome wasn’t built in a day and you must have the patience to methodically do the things you know are necessary to achieve the kind of success you dream of attaining. If you try to rush headlong into something because you feel it is taking too long, you could completely undo all the good you have done up to that point. As a Black Belt, focus on your goals, work toward attaining those goals and remember the old cliché “Patience is a virtue”.

IS YOUR ANGER IRRATIONAL

A little smile adds a great deal to your face value. Have you noticed recently how many people smile when they look at you, or say “hello”? It’s amazing how different we feel when we see someone who smiles rather than someone who doesn’t smile, or worse, continually looks down at the ground. A good smile says a lot about you and how you feel about your self. As martial artists, we want to show our confidence and sincere interest in others. Do you smile a lot at others? How does it make you feel? I’ll bet that almost every time you smile, you get one in return. Add some real face value to your looks today—smile at everyone you meet!

INCREASE YOUR FACE VALUE

People who are always wishing they were “over there”. once they reach “over there”, they find out that it becomes “over here” and discover that “over there” is no better than “over here” and continue to look for “over there”. They are never satisfied and blame everything on not being at the right place at the right time. A person with the Black Belt Attitude understands that, whether you are “over here” or “over there”, it is all up to you to make the most out of life. Being dissatisfied with where you are in life is good only if you see it as a challenge to move toward your goals.

INCREASE YOUR FACE VALUE

I’M AN OPTIMIST

OPEN YOUR EYES AND SEIZE THE DAY

INCREASE YOUR FACE VALUE

Handle Interruptions With Grace

JUMP START BY VISUALIZATION

You want to make changes in your life but keep putting them off. One of the best ways to start making those changes is to visualize them until you make them happen. Set your short-term and long-term goals. Make a picture of Mount Everest and hang it where you can see it every day. As you fulfill one of your short-term goals put a marker on the mountainside. You may want to make a picture of a “camp site” where you “rested” as you climbed Mount Everest. As you go toward the top, you will be able to see your progress whenever you look at the picture of that mountain. Watching that campsite move upward jumpstarts your motivation every time you look at it.

IT’S NOT MY TURN

Whether you are asked to take out the trash, wash the dishes, mow the lawn or, in an office atmosphere where certain tasks are rotated, if you complain that it isn’t your turn, you are keeping score. If you keep score, you will end up feeling resentment which is a very destructive emotion. Keeping score will clutter your mind because, instead of doing something constructive, you will be worrying whether or not you are doing more than someone else. Feeling resentment can ruin your whole day. With the Black Belt Attitude, you never think of whose turn it is. With a smile, you just do it and it makes you happy to know someone else has one less thing to do.

GRASS IS NOT GREENER ON THE OTHER SIDE

IT’S RAINING VIOLETS

The old song goes “It isn’t raining rain, you know. It’s raining violets.” Which means you can complain because rain has spoiled your day or you can be thankful that it rains and waters the earth so that beautiful things will grow and you will have the water necessary for you to survive. You can relate “getting rained out” to every aspect of your life. If things don’t go exactly as you planned, you can choose to feel gloomy and just give up. But with the Black Belt Attitude, you choose to see set backs as learning experiences and you choose never to “shut the door” because you know a ray of sunshine will come through leading you into all sorts of new and wonderful accomplishments. With the Black Belt Attitude, you can always choose to see “violets” no matter how “hard it pours”.